Here's the imperfect me trying to be better.
<aside> 🥺 I used to feel guilty for not finishing reading a book that I started, and so sometimes I would force myself to read until the end of a book that I was not enjoying just so I could mark it as "read."
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<aside> 🌿 This is a waste of time. There are many good books out there that are waiting to be read. So instead of trying to read a book that I already realized halfway was not worth reading, treat it as a blog post, appreciate what I have learned so far, and move on to read a better thing.
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<aside> 🥺 I used to think that the main purpose of college is to get a job after graduation. This puts pressure and stress on me and makes me sometimes lose the ability to just enjoy learning when I knew that "this class has nothing to do with my major."
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<aside> 🌿 The purpose of higher education is to prepare you with the knowledge and skills needed to be a citizen in a democratic society. Even if you don't end up making a career out of your college degree, what you learned in college (critical thinking, analytical skills, communication skills, etc.) will still be valuable in making you a better person overall.
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<aside> 🥺 I did not spend enough time with my family (my parents and brother) before leaving home to study abroad. At the time, it seemed like the only people I spent my time with were friends in my class and acquaintances in school clubs.
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<aside> 🌿 It's been 3.5 years since I started studying abroad. I'm missing out on my brother's teenage years and all my family's important occasions. I wish I got to know them more when I got the chance. Now when I get to visit home, I treasure all the moments we have together. (I gotta call my Mom after this.)
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I spent a few months trying to be someone's perfect friend. I would be the one taking initiative to plan for all of our meetups, and I often found myself brushing aside anything that would normally make me uncomfortable just so we could keep the experience positive.
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<aside> 🌿 I learned that it is more important how I am treated by someone than how much I like them. I also learned to match the energy of those around me, both to not make them feel invaded and to help me avoid being burnt out or disappointed. I still like taking initiative with those I care about but now with the knowledge of what is actually sustainable. And more importantly, I learned to respect my own boundaries and my true self before expecting others to respect them.
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